Sunday, March 4, 2012

Do YOU Have a Favorite? Child that is...

I'm ticked.  Not pissedTicked! (That's worse than pissed just in case you were wondering....LOL!)  I am ticked For TWO REASONS:

#1- It seems like I am always 10 steps behind society's latest "outrage"
#2- Don't tell me what I know or feel. Allow me to elaborate...

I have little doubt that "this" debate has been going on for probably as long as men & woman have been having children.  Do YOU have a favorite...child?

So, before you answer, you should know that according to recent "research" and stints on Dr. Phil,  Anderson and with ALL the "wisdom" of Kelly Ripa HERSELF...apparently YOU DO! 

* It's worth waiting through the 30 second advertisement in the event you missed THIS!*


I can not believe that even if YOU DO have a favorite, that you would announce that and have it "accepted" in the family.   Worse yet?  Suggesting that in an emergency you'd likely save that kid before the others (Perhaps that was said in an effort to be funny.  It wasn't.). Really?  That's ok?  No.  That's abusive.  Emotionally abusive.


Ok, so let's review.  If people who are way more educated than me and people who are not so much, like, oh! I don't know...let's say, ummmm....Kelly Ripa, professes that every parent has a favorite child, that must mean that I do too!  Right?  Ya, Wrong.

Articles I've been reading are now trying to suggest that if you "justify" this question with an answer that goes something like this:

"I love both my kids as much as the other.  However, I don't always love them equally at the same time.  For example, when my son is screaming bloody murder because I have left his eyesight for 2.2 seconds and my daughter is happily feeding her baby doll breakfast, I love her more.  When, my daughter is crying like the world is coming to an end because her brother has taken to playing with something she WAS playing with 2 hours ago, I love him more.  When they are both sitting quietly or playing peacefully together...I love them both equally."

OR, you may be called totally delusional if you were to answer the "Which Kid Do You Favor More?" question like this:

"I don't favor one child over the other.  I do however, favor different traits in each of them.  I favor my daughters unconditional love and understanding yet, independent personality.  She has this instinctual quality of knowing "what is what" that makes her wise beyond her years.  I favor my sons ability to draw people in and he has a smile that melts your heart.  His love of exploring the world around him is admirable and his kindness and forgiveness is unconditional."

If you think you might answer "THESE QUESTIONS" in a similar way to the examples above, it apparently means you are just fooling yourself.  (In other words, dig deeper or your stupid...you pick.  LOL!)  That you DO in fact, have a favorite. 

Ya, well I flip my nose and another small n' chubby apendage right up at 'em and say...WHATEVER!


(I welcome your thoughts and promise no "nose or appendage flips"...LMAO!)

8 comments:

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

Oh, Ginger...you crack me UP...as always!!!

I would never begin to answer a question like that with "qualifiers". Particularly with twins, it's so very hard not to compare...but I really, really, really try not to do it.

While I love seeing posts that other parents write, extolling their kiddos' values at a certain age, I can't do even that. Listing qualities about Baby A, like "has a smile that melts my heart" - I fear - somehow might even accidentally imply that Baby B's smile is not as heart-melting. Can't do it! No, not I!

The only "comparative" observations I try to allow myself is to say A's favorite toy is xyz, and B's is abc...or something black-and-white.

And even that I try to do carefully. There are plenty o' ways to screw up a kiddo, I'm sure...I'm trying to at least avoid what seem like the obvious! ;)

Johanna said...

How sad!

My brother and I were each convinced that we were the favorite child growing up. :) I hope that my own feel the same way. How terrible to have a 'not favorite'. Even worse to BE that kid. :( Talk about emotional scars.

I am right there with you. I don't have a favorite child. My life would end if either one of them were to go away. There are some days I connect more with one than the other, but it all evens out in the end.

Just Another Mom of Twins said...

Ahhh...Mandy I luv ya more than you know!!! Now I am thinking that the whole "smile melts my heart" statement will damage him or her for years to come and I truly tried to make it "even" LMAO!!!!!!!!! (myabe I do have a fav...kidding....TOTALLY!)

Jo, I hear ya! I have OFTEN thought that I am my parents FAV but as times changes...that changes and it's healthy as long as you KNOW if push came to shove...your parents have got your back!

Luv ya guys! Thanks BTW...I don't feel so alone in "this" society outrage!

bcIMthemommy said...

I tell each of my children that they are my favorite. I tell them it's a secret and not to tell their brother or sister.

Logan's the only one that believes me though and he likes to tell EVERYONE that he's my favorite!

(Ya know, the thought of which child I would grab first in an emergancy situation actually keeps me up some night....)

Marcia (123 blog) said...

There's a difference between a favourite and loving that child more.

I used to get asked if I have a favourite and I'd say, "of course I do. The one that's currently eating and sleeping better, and it changes on a daily basis"

There is one child who is more like me! And sometimes I love it and sometimes I really don't like the behaviour.

BTW mandy, no matter how you try to even things out, kids always feel hard done by. My sister and I are CONVINCED my brother was treated better and he feels the same about us

Miss Megan said...

LOL Ginger!
I'm just running with the thought that probably our kids are going to be emotially scarred regardless of what we say, conciously or unconciously! I just did a post about the girls "beautiful differences" and I went through and earmarked the things I loved (and don't love so much?) about each one of them. I was careful to make sure to have just as many positives as I did negatives for each girl. I figure, they aren't the same person, and while they are both loved more than life itself, they each have certain qualities that are more appealing than the other. They both have them. I think it's important that they know that they are different and are loved so much for being so different. That's my take...we will see how it turns out in 20 years won't we?! =)

Twingle Mommy said...

I have a favorite, the one who is behaving at the moment. It can change about a million times a day.

OK really I love all my kids the same. I couldn't choose one to save over the other two unlike the implication from Kelly. I think there is a big difference between a favorite and loving one child more than another. It's kinda like my husband, I always love him but I may not like him at the moment. When my son is rolling on the ground screaming at the top of his lungs in Target, I don't like him at all.

But I love him, and does anything else matter?

And people wonder why famous people's kids turn out messed up?

Always Heather said...

I think my brother was my mother's favorite...I always felt it... but I'm with you... I love my kids differently...because they're different..but each of them is a piece of my heart walking outside my body..I would jump in front of a bus for both? Hey...that counts right..or am I being delusional? My kids are very different...one is laid back and the other is crazy.. I love both of those attributes..I love both of my kids.. I don't know what else to say...but your blog makes me want to 'explain' myself so I don't sound delusional..you know? lol.. Great post.

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